Thursday, August 24, 2006
Overwhelmed by frustrated and sadness once again.
Smsed my brother just now. He didn't reply. Called home upteem times and no one answered! All 3 numbers! I don't think i can take it anymore!! Please give me a break. I suppose if anything happens to me also no one cares.
Who cares if i work late and all the laundry are not done?
Who cares if i work late and ruined my health?
Who cares if i am tired?
Who cares if i'm stressed?
Who cares if everything in the household is in a mess?
Who cares... precisely... who will?
I know Jesus will... but what saddens me is that you all seems like you won't.
To those watching tv/slacking at home:
It has been 3 years? May i ask you to question yourself. what improvement there in your attitude... attitude towards the family. attitude towards everything that is happening???
What has been stopping me to bring dad home is you all! I am ready to bring him home. and i love him and i still want to see him and care for him before he dies and i regret. but what about u? what is your attitude towards this family. What happens if i bring dad home and everyone gives attitude to him? what happens if i bring dad home and no one takes care of him when i need to work or go for meetings? how to work in peace when i cant even trust you for small tasks that i ask u for help. even have to beg you to go and visit your own father. U all call me when i forgot to pay your bills... when you need something from me, other then those times. when have you spoken to me?
Can't you all just share a little bit of my worries?
i'm tired. suddenly very tired...
To all those who all along think that i'm a very strong girl.. Just wanna let you all know that I am nothing but a vulnerable girl saved by God's grace. I am nothing without him... apart from him. i really can do nothing. I am still a human with feelings and all... and I believe that 'good man needs a break' - nah.. i dun need that universal remote control. i just need to rest in god.
father, all i need you. hold me close to u, never let me go...
and i stand in awe of your love
